updatezz??!!

well, i know its been ages since i last updated..coz i've got nothing to blog about..some things happened here and there..some good, some not so good..but heck, life goes on..same shit, different day.. i remember saying my theme song as "if i can't have you" and i'm pretty sure this theme song will stick with me for long long time if not forever..out of ideas..to be continued...

better now

well, all i can say is that things have got better now and i really appreciate it. and the only song that plays in my head and reminds me of what have happened and what is happening now is taylor swift's you belong with me =)

=(

blogging hasn't been my favoured thing to do for the past dont know how long since i last blogged. but this post for sure isn't gonna be any nice sweet post. i'm just feeling drained, lost, broken, shattered, angry, confused, astray, meaningless, sad..whatever you name it..

just when i see a ray of hope, the next thing i know i'm in darkness again. i guess this is the best way i can say is happening. and now, i feel like a spell of bad and unfortunate event raining over me "abundantly" so much that i just don't know what to do anymore.

i thought it was all smooth sailing till one day i just felt that i got stabbed by millions of sword and the pain to bear is just the normal pain i can handle. and from then on, things just got worse. at first i made a promise,and one statement by someone made me more determined because then i see hope. and now i'm confused because i don't know what i should do or what should i feel for this someone because deep inside there's only this someone. never have i felt this much passion for a person to the point that everything i do, i want it to be best for this someone. and then a few messages came and all it did was just pierced the swords even deeper.

i'm only hoping this someone would change her mind over what this someone had said and i am, from the bottom of my heart ready to forgive and forget this moment. but its never easy to let go of someone you feel so much fore.what more the feeling that you have never felt before in your entire life about a special someone in your life. i'm sorry but no matter what i'm keeping to my words until i am not able to do anything about it.

i don't think i can say anything more here because im just losing it. and i hope and would appreciate if whoever sees this, just leave me as i am.

=)

???

i was rounding the city with some friends when suddenly someone raised this question "what does it take to have a girlfriend?" and to my surprise, another replied "money! if you have no money you can't have a girlfriend simply because you cannot support her"..

and the question i raised back is "why is money everything? what can money bring you? can money bring you happiness? so money is the passport to a relationship and without money you can't be in one?".. well, yes i agree that money brings you happiness, but how much or how long? for as long as you can afford her till your cash flow runs dry? to me though, its more of the question of the heart i guess..it don't matter if your partner is poor or rich, handsome/pretty or not so handsome/not so pretty, smart/ not so smart..its the question of are you sincerely getting in a relationship with him/her because you really love him/her as much as you love yourself. "who doesn't want a parent-in-law telling their friends that their son/ daughter in-law is rich?" left me questioning does it really matter?! its like trying to say to those less fortunate or below average families that they're failures and their in-laws should be ashamed of them? com'on give me a break!

OR

is it as simple as it gets?; look at yourself first. do you really qualify for him/her. or does him/ her really deserves you for you?

and all of the sudden someone i start thinking of someone although the little voice at the back of my head keeps yelling "fat hopes"..i succumbed to my conscience and so i texted this someone but i just don't know how to say things right. i just hope that time will play a part in this and through time, i could get this straight. i must honestly say that i am,was, and still is happy that this someone fell for someone. but i am also angry because i failed to do what i have always wanted and still want to do even before i came back from where i was this time of the year in 2008. the reason i came back was because of this someone and i still believe that this someone is the reason but i just can't help but wanting to go back merely to hide from what i cannot do as to what i plan to achieve when i come back. if this someone is reading this, i think you would know who i am because you probably received my text at just past 1am.

think about it folks. ignore the last section of this post.

*the sun is up, its time to sleep

fun post :)

here's the genting groupie cast that went up on the day's tour just for the sake of the cool weather. (l-r, clockwise: jia, yvonne,me,ryan,ben,ione)..

so we started off our journey way early in the morning for all of us i'm sure ( just because its not our usual time of being awake). from cheras to puchong to klang to genting.
so we reach genting all looking half dead cause we din't have enough sleep the night before. but as you can see in ryan's expression, things changed..

we had our battery pumped up and recharged by energizer and we were then good to go already!

first off, a decent groupie in a london-style double decker bus in which needless to say some weird-ass dumb stuff happened in there. (jia you know what you did that you had ur *erk hemm* exetended)

and then when it was time to go home, none of us actually wanted to leave especially ben and me cause of the perfect cool weather in which we miss a dozen! but what to do, din't plan to stay anyways! :)

conclusion: AWESOME!!

obviously there are more pictures which are not posted cause for some reason i could not load em up but needless to say, everything was just pure awesome right from the beginning.the people, the company, the funny-dumb-lame-ass moments..all comes out to a perfect day in which more of this should really come.

mofo!

mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo! mofo!

you!

one of the many reasons i decided to come back is because of you!
it is just unbearable for me not to see you!
oh, how much i missed you!
my heart jumped with joy when i got back and saw you!
and now with another big decision to leave or not hanging over the shoulder, i am reluctant to leave because i don't wanna again leave you!
all these while i may seem like a grandfather who nags or maybe just some random asshole friend you have that annoys the shit out of you!
and for that i must apologize to you!
but i hope you always remember no matter what i am always there for you!
keeping a watchful eye and caring for you as if i have you!
i really do not know what i really am to you!
it may be a possibility that i may mean nothing to you!
but i just hope you know that i had once fell for you and until now, i still love you!
you found yourself someone to share your experiences with and thus i am happy for you!
although i really wished and hoped that i had you!
and i wished this year that somehow, someday, god will make a way and i will have you!
i hope you know who are you!
i won't name you!
because awkwardness is what may be experienced by you!
and i don't want that to happen to you!

somehow something behind my head since christmas eve have been telling me to tell you personally when i can make the right time to tell you this, and write down and express my feelings about you!

how do i?

how do i say thing that i want to say to but dont want the whole world to know? hmmm...

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*no names would be mentioned in this post for the privacy of the person whose pictures have been "stolen"



girl:"omg lah! this picture is bad..everyone can see my panties ady!no good no good"
guy 1: "what's the difference between this picture and the one up there? (pointing at the picture of the girl in tight suit)
guy 2: "that (the girl in tight suit picture) is worse cause older ady!..and this old picture says "upskirt"! "



the "kang kang" version.


BA(b)YWATCH!

well, i was offered a drink yesterday as for me not to post these pictures and mention the name and yeah since i am a man of my words, no names are mentioned, BUT you know who you are!! now you know how much you can trust me when i say something =P

QOTD: who do you think is that girl in those pictures?
hint: definitely now a guy! haha

random stuffs

lets start off with december 18, 2008.
- jia came back
-fetched him from airport
-ryan came over and met up together with jia
-went foos and pool with him
-went mamak with him

conclusion: day spent together with jia pretty much. with bloopers by both jia and myself in that one day itself..i wonder what more to come!

december 19,2008
-pretty much stayed home and completed my major assignment
-rotted the rest of the day
-submitted my major assignment at midnight

conclusion: stayed home and became a nerd although i was reluctant to do so..but i did it

december 20,2008
-woke up, checked email
-GOT A FREAKIN' 85% for my major assignment and overall course grade A..pretty awesome shit although i THOUGHT i could get an A+ ..but an A is good enough i think..enough to make my parents happy..most importantly myself..thank God for that!
-went for children party at church; pretty much lepak and drummed for them
-went for carolling at sri damansara and putra heights. yeah 2 ends of the world.
-got back around 12am and headed for sanjay's 21st birthday bash! was super late but i made it there nevertheless (just in time for the cake). Happy Birthday bro..and to my cousin chris who turns 21 as well. (both 21 both birthdays are on the 21st december but only one difference..one is indian the other is chinese! haha)
-now here blogging

conclusion: not bad day i guess...what made my day most was this morning's email from ron lakes, my tutor for BUSM 121 =)

wohoo

yeah submitted my last module assignment and sad to say results dropped by another 1% for part c..gahh!!! but still got at 85 84 on this..not too bad i guess..in order to get 85 for this course, i need another 83% in the major assignment to get 85 overall and get a distinction i see quite realistic. but i want a high distinction and this would mean i need to get 17% out of 18% which is 95% in the major assignment..tough job!! haha..

one final hurdle

yeap title says it..module 5 is down and now left with the major assignment which is worth 36% of the course man!! balls!! but its gonna be awesome doing this last one and then its practically over!! no more assignments for the time being :) at least i will have less burden going into the busiest month of the year.

good yet not good

yeah probably i dint do as well as i thought i could have done in module 4's assignment but i still got a 85 85 for both sides. quite good as individual scores itself i would say but not overall. and 85 86 in the first, 85 86 in the second, 86 87 in the third, and now a 85 85. yeah it dropped but i am still hoping to say in that 85-87 range or EVEN BETTER =) i guess its not too much of a problem with more determination. like its said, work hard and you'll get what you deserve. that's about it i guess. module 5 assignment in the making.

while you were sleeping.

While You Were Sleeping - Casting Crowns (click on the link to watch the video on youtube)

Verse 1
Oh little town of Bethlehem
Looks like another silent night
Above your deep and dreamless sleep
A giant star lights up the sky
And while you're lying in the dark
There shines an everlasting light
For the King has left His throne
And is sleeping in a manger tonight

Oh Bethlehem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
For God became a man
And stepped into your world today
Oh Bethlehem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping
Verse 2
Oh little town of Jerusalem
Looks like another silent night
The Father gave His only Son
The Way, the Truth, the Life had come
But there was no room for Him in the world He came to save

Jerusalem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
The Savior of the world is dying on your cross today
Jerusalem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

Verse 3
United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we're lying in the dark
There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night

America, what will we miss while we are sleeping
Will Jesus come again
And leave us slumbering where we lay
America, will we go down in history
As a nation with no room for its King
Will we be sleeping
Will we be sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night

the song "while were sleeping" by casting crowns talks about 3 places: bethlehem the birth city of jesus, jerusalem he's death site and burial and yet another place, the united states of america, the video is asking one main question to the american nation whos motto is "in god we trust" will be sleping when jesus come again will you do the same mistake as bethlehem and jerusalem did? and it can be asked to every other nation to the church or even to yourselves, will you be sleeping when jesus will return?

will you be ready when He comes knocking?

or are you ready to smile back just as He's doing to you?