you!

one of the many reasons i decided to come back is because of you!
it is just unbearable for me not to see you!
oh, how much i missed you!
my heart jumped with joy when i got back and saw you!
and now with another big decision to leave or not hanging over the shoulder, i am reluctant to leave because i don't wanna again leave you!
all these while i may seem like a grandfather who nags or maybe just some random asshole friend you have that annoys the shit out of you!
and for that i must apologize to you!
but i hope you always remember no matter what i am always there for you!
keeping a watchful eye and caring for you as if i have you!
i really do not know what i really am to you!
it may be a possibility that i may mean nothing to you!
but i just hope you know that i had once fell for you and until now, i still love you!
you found yourself someone to share your experiences with and thus i am happy for you!
although i really wished and hoped that i had you!
and i wished this year that somehow, someday, god will make a way and i will have you!
i hope you know who are you!
i won't name you!
because awkwardness is what may be experienced by you!
and i don't want that to happen to you!

somehow something behind my head since christmas eve have been telling me to tell you personally when i can make the right time to tell you this, and write down and express my feelings about you!